Ephesians 4:25-5:2                       “Waffle House Rules”                            Grace               8/9/2009

 

No doubt you’ve all heard of the Golden Rule which says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Maybe you’re heard of the variations as well.  “Do unto others before they do unto you.”  Or  “He who has the gold, rules.”   How many of you know that the golden rule actually comes from the Bible?  Luke 6:31 to be precise.

 

It is the rule that would make life good if we would only follow it.  But often people don’t.  Sometimes people really do live by “Do unto others before they do unto you.”  With this in mind, there is a national chain of eateries that helpfully posts its “House Rules” on the walls of its 1,500 locations, concerning such matters as abusive language and unlawful harassment.  One might think that such prohibitions are but common sense, and indeed they are.  But they are posted precisely because customers, at one time or another, have engaged in just such things.

 

Paul understood this as he wrote to the church in Ephesus.  It is easy to overlook or forget somehow that Paul is writing to a Christian church when he says, “Thieves must give up stealing” but he is in fact writing to just such a group.  Paul writes in v 4:17, 9 verses before today’s reading but very much a part of it, “You must no longer lives as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.”  These people have come to believe in Jesus Christ but their thinking and behavior is not yet transformed.

 

As we look at the end of ch 4, we see Paul switching back and forth from negative behavior (don’ts) to positive behavior (do’s).  He almost lists at times sins/behaviors not to do sprinkled with positive qualities/behaviors to take on.  Many of these are obvious and just seem like common sense to us and yet how they creep in to our lives in subtle rather than blatant ways.  I want to look at some of these today, not so much in a verse by verse but doing some skipping around to group a few things together.   

A key verse in this whole section of the epistle is verse 17 which I just referred to: “You must no longer live as the Gentiles live”.  John Stott writes, “It was essential at the outset for his readers to grasp the contrast between what they had been as pagans and what they now were as Christians, between their old and their new life…”[i]  And it is probably helpful for us to think briefly about what that Gentile/pagan mindset or lifestyle was like since many of us have grown up in a mostly Christian environment in our country.  To set it in our minds, think of the lifestyle of a biker.  I don’t mean someone who rides a Harley on the weekend.  I mean someone who rides a Harley – period.  The bike is their mode of transport.  Along with that is the hard drinking, hard fighting etc. that goes along with that lifestyle.  Picture that stereotype of a lifestyle.  That was something of the pagan life that Paul speaks of here.  How far from God they must have been.  I think it may be hard for us to imagine living that way.  Yet many in our society and often some in the church, although perhaps in a more subtle ways, live this way, far from God.  So what is Paul saying to the Ephesians here?

Beware of what I would call, tongue in cheek, progressive heart disease.  There is something of a progression here as Paul writes.   It begins with the futility of their minds that we read in v 17 and goes on through verses we did not read today that are between 17 and 25.  I will briefly refer to them.

In biblical thinking the heart is the seat of the mind so it is both a mind and heart issue.  Pointless thinking leads to darkened understanding, which leads to both ignorance of what is right and hardness of heart against what is right as well. v18  This brings about alienation from God which ends with losing all sensitivity to what is right. v19  In 1 Timothy 4 Paul writes that such folks’ “consciences are seared”.  Sealed off from anything going in or out like a seared piece of meat.  That is progressive heart disease.  Paul is saying, you have been freed from that.  Don’t go back there as he goes on to name some of the practices the futile thinkers have abandoned themselves to.  In leaving that behind them, in v. 22,  he uses the image of taking off old clothing and putting on new.  How nice it is after being all grungy, to get out of the sweaty, smelly clothes, take a shower and put on nice, clean clothes.  That’s basically the image here.

He moves on to today’s reading.  In verses 25, 29 and 5:4, Paul writes about how we speak because he knows that how we speak affects how we are.  So then, putting away all falsehood (read that lies), let us speak truth to our neighbors since we are members of one another.  By neighbors he means the new society of the church.  It hearkens back to chapter 4’s speaking the truth in love.  V 29 let no evil talk come from your mouths but only what will build up.  What is evil talk?  He doesn’t say.  But if what you have to say tears someone down rather than building them up – don’t say it.  Can’t you just hear mama saying “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?”  How much less speaking some would do if they heed this since some folks almost never have a good word to say to or about anyone.  5:4 (not toady’s reading but fitting in with it) says no vulgar, obscene or silly talk either.  That takes away the bulk of most humor nowadays.  What are we left with.  The good stuff.  Thanksgiving for good things and positive things about people.  How good would that be?

Verse 26 – Be angry, but do not sin – do not let the sun go down on your anger, and make no room for the devil.  We have learned in America that anger is bad, but that’s not true.  Selfish, self-centered anger is bad.  If our anger is ego free, that is free from injured pride, spite, malice, animosity and the spirit of revenge, then it may be anger which is not sinful.  If it is sinful, let it go before sundown, which keeps one from nursing the anger and letting it take control of you.  Good advice for married couples especially.  And letting go keeps the devil from having a field day.  How subtle he can be when working on us.  On the other hand, there is righteous anger, which may be against us or another.  This is anger which is not self motivated but is the response to something which is truly evil, that is, unrighteous.  Pay attention to such anger but be careful not to let it rule you either.  With this Paul writes in v 31 about putting away all bitterness, wrath, anger, wrangling, slander and all malice.  This is what happens when one does not let go of anger.  Harbored anger becomes bitterness which takes root in one’s heart and becomes a way of life.  Rather, and not naively but out of choice, vv.4:32 & 5:2, be kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate), forgiving as you have been forgiven. Live in love, as Christ loved us – sacrificially.

Let me ask you, who do you hurt when you are angry, bitter etc in the unrighteous way?  Yourself!  Let it go!  Admit that you were wronged and then forgive and let it go!  Don’t wait for their repentance before you forgive.  Jesus died on the cross and so offered us forgiveness, long before we ever repented of our sin!  Do the same – for your own sake as well as for the other persons.

One writer said, “What would the Episcopal Church look like today if we would actually follow this advice?  We are anything but kind, tender hearted and forgiving as we haul each other into civil courts, convincing ourselves that we are taking some high road in the process.  The rules in Ephesians are as necessary for us, apparently, as are the “House Rules” for customers of that waffle place.”[ii]

 

Paul’s words to the Ephesians are a timely words for us as individuals, us as a congregation and for us as the wider church.  Let us read and heed them so that we may truly “live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.”  Let us do unto others AS rather than BEFORE they do unto us.  Amen



[i] Stott  Ephesians Tyndale p. 175

[ii] The Living Church 8/9/2009 p.4